I first heard the term "Christian hug" a couple of weeks ago. It was uttered by a non-Christian friend who, when persuaded to elaborate, described it as a cautious sideways hug with minimal contact. Meanwhile, I sat quietly horrified...horrified because he was right.
That is indeed the "Christian hug" and I have even heard pastors talk about how they have perfected it. It is a hug that is directed particularly towards those of the opposite sex, designed so that it cannot be mistaken for anything more than cool friendliness. When I talked to Chad about this later, I burst out in frustration, "But we Christians should be known for giving the biggest and best hugs!" How ever did we get associated with a lame excuse for an exhibition of love?
And yet, I think I know exactly how:
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body." - 1 Corinthians 6:18
I understand this. I understand that a lot of people cannot handle certain images, people, circumstances - whatever it is - without an improper thought whisking by and lodging in their brains. To be fair, this is probably most of us. And so we flee, and this takes the form of a lifetime of Christian hugs.
The problem is that I can't see Jesus doing this. If he had, I don't think we would have stories about him associating with prostitutes. The other problem I have with this is that in that case, a person's "purity" is based on a foundation that is not very stable to begin with. It is like saying to an obese person with a food addiction that they should never look at chocolate again. And as studies have shown, physical contact is nourishment to the soul as much as food is nourishment to the body.
A person can claim to be pure by consciously avoiding all traps that will lead them astray, but the moment something remotely smacking of something "forbidden" flies by, the person's thoughts will most likely take a drastic trip and fall. And this is what we see consistently. Christians are no less susceptible to divorce and sexual immorality than anyone else. Our "immunity" so-to-speak, has been closeted, rather than built up.
I am no expert in how to get this immunity built up, but I firmly do believe that Christian hugs are not the way to go. Maybe at the start, but we shouldn't remain there.
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| I love this picture. It is the picture of a friend and I playing in a puddle we found. And although my conscience is clear and I have no qualms about showing this picture to Chad, I'm loathe to share this with people I know as I suspect a few people would probably frown on this - people who will never understand that this is the picture of two friends who are genuinely having a blast and nothing more. |
To make it clear, this is not the kind of relationship that everyone is ready for. But it isn't out of reach if a person works on growing and building up their foundation in a healthy way rather than running away all the time. And why should we not do this? For I believe that it is the kind of relationship that comes close to the kind of love that we'll see in heaven.
