Sunday 24 March 2013

Stopping Myself

These two pictures represent milestones for me. Causes for celebration, yes.
But I also am aware that they're still not handstands!
Just a quick update on handstands. I still can't do them. I can't understand it because I know that physically, I am capable of doing them. But without a spotter, something very close to fear stops me from hitting the mark. So I end up kicking sideways, falling in painful ways or just not trying very hard at all.

Being upside-down isn't the problem. I've realized that it comes down to a mental thing. And maybe that's why it's so hard: trying to think yourself out of a thinking seems rather circular in nature!

I tried again today and after a warning twist in my neck (nothing serious, but enough to make me stop), I think I'll tackle this challenge another day.

Friday 22 March 2013

Do You Dance?


I've often heard people say, "I don't dance". After last week, I don't believe them anymore.

Chad had a jazz gig at the zoo and I went, lured partly by the chance to see him solo it on his sax and partly by the proximity of animals. What I didn't count on was the entertainment provided by the vast amounts of kids there. And trust me, I'm not normally entertained by small human beings, so this was an unusual occasion.

Every time a song would start, the kids would rush up close to the band and start swaying and prancing to the beat. Some were more coordinated than others. Some were even executing some promising ballet moves. And then some others were just bobbing in their diapers, having not mastered the art of walking yet.


I was hard-pressed to find a single kid who wasn't physically responding to the music. And it told me something. People are born to dance. Whether it looks refined and elegant or like a body being defibrillated is beside the issue. Music wasn't meant to be only experienced through your ears. It was meant to be a physical experience as well.

Having said this, I am disappointed to say that I did not join the sea of bobbing juveniles. I wish I could have. But something wouldn't let me make a fool of myself. And because of that, I'm not entirely unsympathetic to those who say, "I don't dance". But I won't go so far as to say that I don't dance. Because I definitely do. I dance in the shower. I dance in my living room. While doing housework or cooking or even in the snatches of time when I'm in public but no one's watching, I dance.

One day, I hope to have the courage to dance in plain sight. But until then, I hope this drawing captures all my fascination with the beauty of someone who can fling themselves into a beat without a second thought.

Sunday 10 March 2013

Handstands, Part 2

What doesn't kill you will make you stronger. That's the clichéd saying, isn't it? But today, I'm feeling that mastering a handstand by myself will be something that I look back on for encouragement...that is if I don't injure myself first.

Yesterday, I tried doing a handstand with a wall for support. The result was that with only three directions to fall, I fell sideways, which was more uncomfortable than just free-falling.

Today (after breakfast, no less), I employed Chad to spot me. So three handstands later, here's the rundown:

Figure A:
Launch sequence activated after much swallowing and wiping of sweaty palms.

Figure B:
Arms straight: √
Looking at wall, not at ground: √
Hips thrust: √
Legs straight: √
Core stomach muscles engaged: X
= still unable to support myself

I'd like to think that the massive amount of hair I have is contributing to being unbalanced. But that'd probably be a cop-out. It feels like riding a bike all over again. But the good news is that I did eventually learn to ride a bike. Hopefully this is going in the same direction.

Saturday 9 March 2013

Handstands

I can't do them. The last time I remembered trying to do handstand was in elementary school during gym class. I watched as one of my classmates went up successfully into a handstand and then came crashing down, landing her with a broken arm and a trip to the hospital. That was over twenty years ago and I have never had the urge to try doing a handstand since then.

I still didn't have any such urge when I visited a community circus this week for the first time. And my enthusiasm for trying some acrobatics was very nearly quashed when I realized how many moves involved being upside-down.

So when the lady who was coaching us told me to do a handstand, flip over, and then land with my back on her upturned feet, I genuinely felt scared. There are not many things I will walk away from, but I nearly expanded my meager list that day.

"I believe that you can do it," said the coach. I realized that while I believed she was being genuine, it was still not enough to convince me to do it. I needed to believe that I could do it. I also realized two more things:

Practicing some other acrobatics at home. What a workout!

  1. I needed to imagine how to do it successfully rather than think about how to do it unsuccessfully.
  2. If I walked away, I would not be able to let it go.


So I did it. Blanked out my mind, focused only on the successful outcome, and did it. And as I landed neatly on her feet unscathed, I nearly cried from relief and elation.

33 years old and I can do handstands.

Next step: figure out how to stay in a handstand!